For those who knew that regardless of how onerous you tried, success was inconceivable or virtually inconceivable, would you continue to push your self to the restrict? Or would you rationally pivot to a different endeavor with an actual likelihood of success? Personally, if the percentages had been overwhelmingly in opposition to me, I’m undecided I’d trouble making an attempt so onerous.
Since my children had been born, I’ve observed a rising pattern: extremely tutorial Asian American college students with stellar GPAs and prime SAT scores getting rejected from most of their top-choice faculties. That is frequent for a lot of college students, particularly as admissions charges plummet due partly to the convenience of making use of by means of the Widespread App. Nonetheless, the problem appears much more pronounced for Asian candidates.
Though Asian People make up solely about 7% of the U.S. inhabitants, they aren’t thought-about a minority group eligible for preferential remedy in faculty admissions, jobs, or promotions. As an alternative, primarily based on common SAT and ACT scores by race, it seems they have to rating larger than different teams simply to have an equal likelihood of acceptance. The Supreme Court docket acknowledged this disparity when it dominated in opposition to affirmative motion on June 29, 2023.
When range, fairness, and inclusion (DEI) grew to become a dominant motion after George Floyd’s killing in 2020, Asian People had been largely disregarded of the racial justice dialog—despite the fact that they, too, have confronted discrimination and hate. I get it—Asians have the highest median earnings amongst all racial teams, so why prioritize a bunch that’s perceived as doing effectively?
However what in the event you’re a poor Asian from a damaged household? In that case, you may simply be out of luck. Your solely resolution is to simply attempt more durable.
College students May Have Loved Life Extra
In the course of the pandemic, I had an epiphany: What’s the purpose of my children learning so onerous if their possibilities of getting right into a prime faculty—and touchdown a promising job afterward—are slim to none?
As an alternative of stressing over straight As, prime SAT scores, varsity sports activities, membership management, and curing most cancers, why not allow them to absolutely get pleasure from their youth? All this intense stress to get right into a prime faculty does not appear wholesome.
The rise in melancholy and nervousness amongst highschool college students is alarming, with many feeling relentless stress to excel. Some even take their very own lives as a result of they don’t really feel ok academically. We can not let that occur. I refuse to let my daughter and son endure beneath the load of standing and cash on the expense of their well-being.

A Higher, Happier Childhood When You Have No Likelihood
Think about waking up excited to go to highschool—not for grades, however for the sake of studying. You’d concentrate on topics you care about and just do sufficient to move those you don’t just like the quiet quitters right this moment. For the reason that odds of getting right into a prime 25 college are so low, you’d be content material with a B-average and a sub 1,200 SAT rating. With decrease expectations, you’d really feel grateful for no matter faculty you do get into.
What a unbelievable Okay-12 expertise! I used to be all in on this concept—no Tiger Dad stress, no pushing my children to grind for a top-tier college simply to purchase an costly home near work to turn into bankers working beneath fluorescent lights for 60 hours per week. I’ve been there, and it’s not enjoyable, even when the cash was good.
As an alternative, they might go to group faculty, save a fortune, and pursue careers they really get pleasure from. And with the $700,000+ every that will have in any other case gone to non-public college tuition, I’d discover a strategy to present them monetary safety early. 18 years is 23% of a median 80-year life. Important!
Then issues modified in 2025. Intense merit-based rewards got here again into focus beneath the brand new administration.

The Analogy Of Decrease Taxes Hurting Your Way of life
To assist clarify the unfavorable of merit-based reward, let’s have a look at tax coverage for example.
When taxes are reduce, folks work more durable as a result of they get to maintain extra of their earnings. In idea, that is nice—particularly if the federal government has been losing taxpayer {dollars}.
However the issue with working more durable and longer is that cash is addictive. Many individuals don’t know when to cease, even after they’ve sufficient. Quick-forward 40 years, and the wealthy banker or techie may surprise why they spent a lot time chasing cash after they might have been doing one thing extra fulfilling.
I see this dependancy to wealth day-after-day by means of Monetary Samurai. Folks price thousands and thousands of {dollars} struggling to be completely happy. It’s extraordinarily onerous to stop making a living, even in the event you hate your job. That’s why I began writing about FIRE in 2009—to present folks the braveness and monetary framework to stroll away from work they despise and do one thing they love.
Sure, making some huge cash and investing properly is nice. However in the event you maintain sacrificing time for extra money when you have already got sufficient or are on observe to die with lots, it’s a rattling disgrace.
I left work in 2012, partly as a result of I did not need to pay ~40% of my earnings to the federal government for the privilege of working 60 hours per week and feeling continuously confused. So in a approach, I am grateful for President Obama for elevating my federal marginal earnings tax fee to 39.6% and giving me the inducement to interrupt free. Paying one other 12.3% tax to California plus one other 7.2% in FICA tax was merely not price it anymore.

Benefit-Based mostly Reward Can Additionally Harm Your Way of life
On the floor, rewarding folks primarily based solely on advantage sounds honest. However it is also a lure for probably the most formidable amongst us.
When folks understand they’ll get forward by outworking their friends, they’ll just do that. A 60-hour workweek turns into 70 hours. Then 80. Then 90. The arms race for extra by no means ends till we make it cease.
Similar to cash dependancy is difficult to stop, merit-based competitors is, too. When effort immediately correlates with reward, it’s robust to carry again. If I used to be paid primarily based on efficiency at my outdated job at Credit score Suisse, I’d have for certain lasted for at the very least one other 5-10 years.
Immediately, if I knew I might outpace AI from stealing my content material simply by writing extra, I’d maintain going indefinitely. However I acknowledge my window of alternative could also be closing quick. That’s why I’ve invested within the very corporations working to make me out of date. In the event that they’re going to remove my retirement dream, at the very least I plan to revenue within the course of!

Rejected Asian American Goes Straight To A Dream Job
Take Stanley Zhong. He had a 3.97 unweighted GPA, a 4.42 weighted GPA, and a near-perfect 1590 SAT rating at Gunn Excessive College. He even based his personal document-signing startup and tutored underserved children in coding.
But, he was rejected by 16 faculties, together with MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Stanford, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, UCSB, UC Davis, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, Cornell College, College of Illinois, College of Michigan, Georgia Tech, Caltech, College of Washington and College of Wisconsin.
UC Davis has a 42% acceptance fee for goodness sake! Did Stanley write one thing offensive in all his essays? That will be onerous to consider given he has such a considerate father and useful faculty counselors.
Once I first heard the information in 2023, I used to be surprised. Stanley might have been my son. And if he wasn’t ok, what likelihood did my children have? Lower than 1% of scholars can obtain the educational scores Stanley achieved. For a second, I felt defeated. Why trouble making an attempt? High universities will merely use subjective causes akin to persona scores to elucidate why a pupil was rejected.
However then one thing exceptional occurred.
As an alternative of going to school, Stanley landed a PhD-level engineering function at Google—a job most pc science grads from the very colleges that rejected him would kill for. Making $200,000+ proper out of highschool is a dream come true.
Stanley proved his naysayers unsuitable. Though, his dad additionally works at Google, so possibly dad was capable of assist out in a roundabout way.
Constructing Expertise Turns into En Vogue Once more
His story made me rethink. Benefit gained out ultimately—not in faculty admissions, however within the job market, the last word finish purpose. Companies, in contrast to universities, want the most effective staff to create the most effective merchandise and maximize earnings.
If probably the most elite employers with the most important stability sheets like Google and Meta can not afford to disregard advantage, the identical will occur throughout smaller corporations. Benefit is much more vital if you’re an entrepreneur. There’s nowhere to cover in the event you’re the one doing many of the work.
Then, in February 2025, Stanley and his father sued the College of California for racial discrimination. Regardless of all of the hate they obtained, they pressed ahead for future Asian American college students who may face the identical bias. Personally, I do not suppose they are going to win since Asians make up round 36% of the scholar inhabitants on the UC system, but account for 19% of California highschool graduates who met UC admission necessities.
But when they win, it might imply extra certified Asian People will get into public universities that obtain authorities funding. Are you able to think about paying property taxes for 18 years solely on your straight-A children to get rejected? In the end, a lawsuit victory ought to profit the most effective college students of all races as they would not need to be anxious as a lot about subjective elements dying them anymore.
So, that loopy dream I had—of Asian American children having fun with a low-stress, joyful childhood—might need to attend. For now, advantage is again in focus, which suggests lengthy hours of learning, intense competitors in extracurriculars, and massive stress. If we resolve to go this route, mother and father should all the time be encouraging and supportive.
Deal with Your Mother and father Nicely
No matter what occurs, one fact stays: be good to your mother and father.
Faculties and employers might reject you, however your mother and father possible by no means will. They’ll do no matter it takes to present you alternatives and, in the end, make sure that you are completely happy.
And in the event that they’ve been sensible with their cash—investing by means of a largely bull market—they could have extra wealth than you understand. When the time comes for faculty, a automobile, or perhaps a home, they could simply cowl every part for you.
As a dad or mum myself, I continuously battle the urge to present my children every part. However I do know that if I do, I danger making them entitled and smooth.
Nonetheless, if my son and daughter develop into accountable, type adults who select careers that genuinely assist others, it’ll be robust to not give them monetary help after they want it.
When Your Finest Is Not Good Sufficient: Hold On Going
So regardless of your race, your greatest wager is to maintain striving even in case you have little-to-no likelihood of succeeding. Your pleasure is at stake. Even in the event you face rejection after rejection, keep in mind—rejection is simply the value of success.
Hold pushing. Hold grinding. It is a million-dollar mindset price adopting. Acknowledge the world won’t ever be honest. Settle for it! Even when the percentages are stacked in opposition to you, your onerous work will finally repay in methods which are onerous to forecast.
Readers, how do you’re feeling about making an attempt your greatest regardless of the lengthy odds of success? Are you disenchanted in regards to the hyper concentrate on advantage, or do you welcome the elevated incentive to work onerous? Why do you suppose college students like Stanley Zhong, with near-perfect tutorial data, get rejected by so many prime faculties? Does this show the significance of writing good essays?
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