We frequently suppose confidence is all about physique language — standing tall, sustaining eye contact, or providing a agency handshake.
Certain, these issues assist.
However your phrases play simply as massive a task in how your coworkers, purchasers, and boss understand you.
You is likely to be undermining your personal confidence each day with out even realizing it.
In the present day, I’m specializing in eight widespread phrases that subtly chip away at your picture of self-assurance. These phrases might sound harmless or well mannered, however they’ll ship indicators that you just doubt your self or your experience.
Let’s dive in.
1. “I’m unsure, however…”
At first look, “I’m unsure, however…” sounds humble and open-minded. And generally, there’s nothing unsuitable with admitting uncertainty.
However in the event you tack this phrase onto nearly each suggestion or concept, you’re telegraphing doubt earlier than you’ve even shared what’s in your thoughts.
It turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy: folks begin to query your concepts since you questioned them first.
If you wish to supply a thought that you just’re not 100% positive about, attempt rephrasing: “One potential strategy is…” or “Right here’s an concept we will discover…”
That means, you’re nonetheless acknowledging the potential for dialogue or disagreement, however you’re not undermining your personal authority proper out of the gate.
Confidence doesn’t imply you’re all the time appropriate; it means you possibly can personal your perspective with out apologizing for it prematurely.
2. “Does that make sense?”
I used to say this on a regular basis, notably when presenting in conferences. It felt well mannered—like I used to be checking in to make sure everybody was on the identical web page.
However over time, I observed it usually made me sound hesitant, as if I didn’t belief my very own readability.
Psychologically, “Does that make sense?” can recommend that you just’re uncertain whether or not you communicated successfully otherwise you’re looking for approval on your concepts.
A easy change is to say, “Let me know you probably have any questions,” or “I’d love your ideas on this.”
This slight tweak nonetheless invitations suggestions with out placing the burden on whether or not your clarification made sense.
It’s a refined shift, nevertheless it radiates extra confidence since you’re assuming your phrases had been clear and direct.
3. “I’m sorry to hassle you…”
Apologizing has its place — if you really do one thing unsuitable.
Nevertheless, many people fall into the behavior of claiming “I’m sorry” for each small factor, together with simply needing a colleague’s assist or enter.
Once you say “I’m sorry to hassle you,” you’re primarily labeling your self as an inconvenience and implying that your request isn’t vital.
Relatively than apologize, attempt main with gratitude or a transparent assertion of what you want:
“Thanks for taking a minute to look this over,” or “I recognize your time. Are you able to assist me with one thing?”
That means, you present respect for the opposite individual’s schedule with out placing your self down.
4. “I is likely to be unsuitable, however right here’s my thought.”
This phrase is a sibling to “I’m unsure, however…”
Individuals usually use it after they don’t wish to come throughout as boastful or overconfident.
However like the opposite disclaimers, it undermines your credibility.
The second you say “I is likely to be unsuitable,” you’re telling everybody that you just’re not assured in your personal perception.
There’s room for humility, in fact—no one likes a know-it-all.
However in the event you’re all the time prefixing your strategies with self-doubt, folks could begin tuning you out. As a substitute, confidently current your concept, then invite dialogue:
“Right here’s how I see it. What do you suppose?”
This exhibits that you just’re respecting the opportunity of a special viewpoint however not dismissing your personal proper off the bat.
5. “Simply… / Simply questioning…”
The phrase “simply” is a refined minimizer. Phrases like “I simply needed to test…” or “I simply suppose perhaps we must always attempt…” come throughout as small, nearly apologetic.
It’s as in the event you’re saying, “This won’t matter, however right here it’s anyway.”
Strive slicing out “simply” for every week and see how your statements remodel. As a substitute of “I simply puzzled if we must always verify the price range,” say “Let’s verify the price range.”
As a substitute of “I’m simply emailing to comply with up,” say “I’m following as much as see the place we stand.”
Eradicating “simply” doesn’t make you pushy; it clarifies that you just respect each your time and others’.
6. “This is likely to be a foolish query, however…”
Calling your personal query foolish primarily primes the listener to suppose that what you’re about to say won’t be worthwhile.
Asking questions, even primary ones, isn’t foolish. In actual fact, it could possibly reveal curiosity, consideration to element, and a willingness to study.
These are all traits of assured, self-aware professionals.
When you genuinely want clarification, merely ask the query: “Are you able to stroll me by way of how that metric is calculated?” or “I wish to make certain I perceive the context—may you elaborate on that time?”
These formulations make you sound engaged reasonably than insecure.
7. “Hopefully that is okay with everybody.”
Group consensus might be useful, however phrasing it as “hopefully that is okay” paints you as hoping for approval reasonably than taking management of your position or challenge.
It suggests uncertainty about your authority to suggest or determine one thing.
Whereas it’s good to think about others’ enter, you don’t have to preemptively beg for his or her blessing.
As a substitute, confidently state your plan after which invite suggestions or questions: “Let’s proceed with this strategy. If anybody sees a priority or different, let me know.”
This strategy exhibits that you just take duty whereas leaving the door open for collaboration.
8. “I’ll attempt.”
Generally we are saying “I’ll attempt” once we’re not totally positive we will ship.
Possibly the timeline is tight or the ask is massive.
However to others, “I’ll attempt” can sound wishy-washy, as if we’re predicting failure from the get-go. Individuals who challenge confidence are likely to commit: “I’ll get it executed by Tuesday” or “I’ll have an replace for you tomorrow.”
That doesn’t imply you’ll by no means face obstacles. However being particular suggests you’re ready to do your finest and adapt if wanted.
Tony Robbins as soon as mentioned, “When you can’t, you could. When you should, you possibly can.”
That is likely to be a bit dramatic, however the concept stands: there’s energy in believing you will determine it out, not that you just’ll attempt if every part goes completely. If that you must modify expectations later, you possibly can.
However ranging from a spot of dedication normally results in higher follow-through—and a stronger show of confidence.
To sum up
Confidence isn’t about bluster or by no means admitting errors. It’s rooted in how we current our concepts and ourselves.
By making small shifts in wording, you not solely come throughout as extra confident but in addition invite extra respect and engagement out of your colleagues.
Be sincere, however ditch pointless disclaimers.
Present humility, however keep away from diminishing your personal experience.
And everytime you catch your self about to say, “I’m sorry to hassle you” or “I is likely to be unsuitable,” do a fast psychological test:
Is that this phrase really serving me and the scenario, or is it merely a nervous tic that’s undermining my confidence?
It’d really feel unusual at first to chop again on these phrases, particularly in the event you’re used to them.
However belief me, the distinction is noticeable. You’ll begin to see folks responding to you with extra seriousness and respect.
And that, in flip, can construct your interior sense of confidence.
Carry on the up and up
