‘Ten minutes and…’: Inexperienced card speak on dates leaves NRI pupil miffed, calls it dehumanising and transactional

For a lot of Indian immigrants, holding a US inexperienced card symbolizes extra than simply everlasting residency — it is a passport to stability, alternative, and the fruits of lengthy, unsure years navigating America’s immigration maze.

Past job flexibility and the power to sponsor household, it additionally represents a vital stepping stone towards citizenship and long-term safety, particularly for future generations. But in a digital age formed by migration, courting, and diasporic id, this coveted doc can also be being thrust into areas it doesn’t belong — just like the early levels of romance.

A 21-year-old Indian-American college pupil just lately took to Reddit to voice a deeply private frustration: being decreased to her immigration standing by males from her personal group.

“I’ve gone on dates/conversed with individuals from all types of backgrounds… in some way the one time I’ve ever been provided a inexperienced card as a solution to flirt has been by Punjabi guys,” she wrote. “We’ll be ten minutes right into a convo and growth — ‘you understand I might get you a inexperienced card, proper?’”

The put up, each candid and chopping, struck a nerve. “It’s not even simply awkward anymore. It feels dehumanising… It turns one thing that might have been significant into one thing transactional,” the particular person mentioned, lamenting how even inside her group, she’s perceived by means of the lens of paperwork reasonably than persona. “It hurts extra as a result of it’s from individuals I need to really feel understood by.”

Urging for mutual dignity, the particular person added, “I’m not making an attempt to name anybody out. I simply want there was extra self-respect on each side. Extra id.”

The put up sparked an avalanche of responses. One person recounted an identical development within the UK, the place “paper marriages” had been casually advised as immigration options. “I brushed it off as a one-off… didn’t realise how rampant this was till I mentioned it with a couple of different buddies,” they mentioned.

One other commenter, recalling a job interview on an F1 visa, mentioned a recruiter flippantly advised them to “simply marry a citizen.” Their response: “Marriage isn’t a transaction. At the least for me.”

But not all replies dismissed the inexperienced card as irrelevant. “As a H1B who’s ready within the US for a Inexperienced card since 2006… the look ahead to greencard is 150+ years,” wrote one person. “After all it’s best to marry for love… however don’t rule something out particularly if you’re on F1 or non-immigrant standing.”

One remark tied these behaviors to broader cultural patterns. “There’s an inclination [among Punjabis] to flaunt something ‘materials’ — cash, connections, immigration standing,” they mentioned, including that conventional dynamics typically body ladies as needing to be “offered for.”

The unique poster’s story, although deeply private, opened a wider dialog about id, expectations, and the delicate methods authorized standing continues to form interpersonal dynamics among the many diaspora.